Wednesday, June 3, 2009

My First Entry!! Welcome And Enjoy

Hi and welcome to my blog. I've had other spanking and sex blogs in the past, but always got freaked out about the attention they received and took them down. There are a lot of truly beautiful people in the online fetish community-but there also some deeply disturbed people who lash out in impotent rage.In navigating my own fantasies, it has sometimes been difficult to distinguish where other peoples' end and dangerous reality begins. In trying to reach out to make contact with another human being, you never quite know if the person on the other end is the one who will liberate you from all your hang-ups, or hunt you down to make you their rape slave. Since many of both my sexual issues and my sexual fantasies stem from my childhood, there is always the risk of attracting individuals with an unhealthy interest in the suffering of small children. But as I read the sentence I just wrote, I realize that it's an unhealthy that is at times difficult to diagnose. After all, me desire is to be spanked and humiliated like a child, and more, I have eagerly played the Scheherazade with my own experiences, being aroused by the arousal others experience as I recount the manner in which I was disciplined growing up.

After I pull down the blog, close the chat room membership and delete the email account, I go another year or so without being involved in the online spanking community. But it's a strange kind of addiction, that gradually begins to draw you in. It's hard to explain to someone who's not part of the online world; after all, I have a real life girlfriend who actually does these things, satisfies me in terms of BDSM. So why invest so much time and energy online, where I have a better chance of encountering a crazy frat boy who beats off to rape or a middle-aged man pretending to be a 19 year-old girl who still gets spanked at home (and kinda likes it), than I am someone who might actually be an interesting conversation? God, I don't know!!!

So anyway, this is my blog. So what are you going to write about, shelly? I don't know, anonymous reader; that will most likely depend on my current state of mind. Certainly I'll use this to continue to work out my unending issues with my childhood and mother and all of that drama, but I'll also use it to report my recent exploits in the first, serious, monogomous BDSM relationship. And then I'll probably rant about things in no way interesting to anyone, since it's my blog, and if you want the stroke material you're going to have to put up with the person I am.
although i don't really get foot fetishes, here's something for them.

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